i wish/i was

this thing is called cruelty

this thing is called hope

this thing is called jealosy

this thing is called love

this thing is a dream you can't never declare

james baldwin was black homosexual and proud

and i wish i was black, and i wish i was gay and i wish i was proud

of everything/anything in my life

but i'm in the middle, in the middle of nowhere

no black, no white; no gay, no straight; no proud, no ashamed.

i'm morbid and pale, like that smiths' song claim.

i'm thin and i'm cruel and i'm bored to death

i'll be starving to death in a month

if i'm not able to find love

in you, in the books, in the ass of a boy or in the hips of a girl,

this thing is called fear, this thing is called caution

this thing is called rage, this thing is called death.